i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
