what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize