i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize