Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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