Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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