I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
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