I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
just come out here and I will go home with you...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
