Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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