had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
