Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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