Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Randomize
