just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
