How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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