i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
