I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Randomize
