Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize