I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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