What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
