i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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