I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
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