Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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