she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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