The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
