she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
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I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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