Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
