ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
