Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
