i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
