They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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