If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
