I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
