Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
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