Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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