btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
only if we run a train.
done.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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