I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
NoShamevember. You game?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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