She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
