i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
