I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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