I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
and you fell through a lawn chair
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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