Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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