just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize