ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
