Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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