Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
