my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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