Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
