wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
