She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
