Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
