is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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