You made me cry and you don't even care
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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