Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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