Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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