I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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