yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
