the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
