my vag is so smooth its legendary
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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