Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Randomize
