1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
I wannas sexs uuuuu
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my poor anus
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I need water and some morals
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
