I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Randomize
