Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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