I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
