so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
