Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
