There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
